Safety First
“Have you ever felt completely safe in your body?”
My mentor asked me this question one afternoon in her healing room. I don’t remember what prompted the question, but the question itself stuck with me. My initial response was “yes” {subtext: obviously}... but then I took a moment to think about the question. Really think and dig down.
The answer remains yes… but perhaps that’s more from the perspective of where I write now. I have come to feel safe in my body. I think I had some fleeting experiences with feeling that way over the years and I’m sure I felt that way when I was very young. But part of feeling safe in your body is feeling safe to be utterly and completely yourself… with all your emotions and NEEDS {gasp} and quirks.
It also means feeling safe to be with yourself and in your body. To be with your thoughts and feelings and bodily sensations.
I’m not sure that I’ve ever met a woman who was a wholehearted yes to this feeling of safety.
We receive conflicting messaging about staying safe from the time we are little.
“Don’t talk to strangers” but also “Say ‘Hi’ sweetie, don’t be rude.”
“Your body is yours, don’t let strange people touch you” but also “Give our friend Bob a hug goodbye”
“Cover up, you don’t want to attract unwanted attention” but also “You have to wear a dress to the party.”
It was never safe as a girl and then as a woman to be
Loud
Opinionated
Decisive
Boundaried
That didn’t often stop me from being those things, but I certainly often felt less than completely safe in being them. Scolded {well into adulthood} for voicing my opinion too forcefully, for not tiptoeing around people’s feelings at all times, for interrupting men in conversation.
So how do you cultivate a feeling of safety in your body where you never had one?
It is slow and deliberate work. It takes practice and time and trust. Here’s what I know about how to feel safe(r) in your body:
Connect with your body through meditation, body scans, intentional movement practices, or breathwork.
Connect with your cycle, the cycle of the moon, and the cycle of the seasons
Connect with your community through shared experiences, stories, and support.
Connect with people who see you as whole, worthy, and enough exactly as you are.
Connect with your place. The natural environment you find yourself in. Learn about the plants, the animals, the geography. Walk it, understand that you are a part of it, that you are sacred and divine.
I’d love to connect and support you in this work. Book a free discovery call or send me a message (eileen@myluminouslife.ca)
