Where is Your Attention?
“Attention is the doorway to gratitude, the doorway to wonder, the doorway to reciprocity” - Robin Wall Kimmerer
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Our attention is so powerful.
We are living in a world where there are so many things clamouring for our attention at all times. It is imperative, for our own well-being as well as the well-being of those around us, that we become so very intentional about where we allow it to be directed.
Your time is precious. It is finite. There are only so many hours that you have to attend to the pleasures and joys that this life offers up. I know that you want to cultivate more gratitude and wonder in your life {you wouldn’t be here reading this if you didn’t}. I know you want to be able to have the energy to reciprocate the kindnesses that are shown to you and to attract more kindnesses to reciprocate.
We cannot be grateful for that which we do not attend. We cannot wonder at that which we do not attend. We cannot reciprocate that which we do not attend.
So where is your attention going? Are you giving it to the things, the people, the experiences that matter most?
Or is it being stolen away by the hustle, the grind, the scroll?
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Pause here in your reading and check in with yourself. Think about the last few days. Was your attention where you would like it to be?
If you are a human in our world, you probably didn’t say yes. Perhaps your attention was distracted 20, 40, or 80% of the time? See if you can give it a number. If you had to answer, what percentage of the time would you say that your attention was directed towards the important things, the things that matter most? Now ask yourself:
“What action could I take to increase that number just a little bit, maybe even 1%?”
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What you give your attention to expands.
You can understand this idea in terms not only of things external to yourself, as we have contemplated above, but also in terms of the thoughts and beliefs that you give your attention to.
The more you attend to a thought, the more it moves toward becoming a belief. The more you attend to a belief, the more it informs and shapes your reality.
One of my coaches always says: “The grass is greener where you water it.”
And she is right.
If you spend your time attending to the worry and annoyance that your days hold, those worries and annoyances will coalesce into anxiety and anger. If you attend too long to anxiety and anger, you become a fearful and resentful person.
Why not attend instead to the pleasures and comforts in your days, allowing them to blossom into happiness and security? If you attend to your happiness and security long enough, you’ll likely become a joyful and confident person.
This is not to say that you should ignore those more difficult emotions and sensations… but see if you can avoid getting stuck attending to them to the exclusion of the pleasant ones.
The next time you find yourself ruminating in worry or anger, pause. Take 3 deep, grounding breaths. Say silently or out loud “I understand why I am worried/angry, and I choose to let this feeling go now.”
Then purposefully find some small (or big) joy that you have experienced in your day and cultivate a feeling of gratitude for it. Perhaps it is as small as the way the light fell through your curtains this morning, the comforting smell of your coffee, the twinkling smile of a child. Sit with this for a few more breaths and then carry on with your day.
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Is it time to pay attention?
